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SHAKE THE FAMILY TREE * SEE WHAT FALLS OUT * YOUR FATHER MIGHT BE YOUR GRANDFATHER

“To truly embrace life and experience joy we must first repair our broken relationships with our parents.” A quote from Mark Wolynn’s book, #It Didn’t Start with You. Most of my mental health clients had lousy or no connections to their parents. Recommending that they repair those relationships was like asking them to hike the highest mountain in the world. I get that but it doesn’t have to be that way.


Often individuals are aware they have unresolved issues, but they lack the desire or tools to explore these. It’s easier to #numb their pain with #harmful substances or #unhealthy habits. Painful events happening now can trigger a reaction, an opportunity to explore our responses. There are theories and various treatment methods, etc. addressing things like merging with parents, #rejecting a parent, breaking bonds with your mother, identifying with other family members, healing, separating, or integrating. This is a turn-off for many people. They question if it is even worth the effort.


For those of us who tried to face and heal our childhood trauma, it can be worth it. But sometimes it ends badly. We can never go back and we can’t change the past but we can get answers, find peace and hopefully stop bad behaviors from passing on to future generations.


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Case #5. 15-year-old daughter #impregnated by her father. She kept the baby. He was charged and is in prison. The really, really sad thing is there were five daughters in this family, she was the youngest and he #sexually violated all of them. When the youngest got pregnant and the case was investigated the other children stated they had also been abused. This situation impacted me greatly. I was horrified to think that a father could do that to all his daughters.


What kind of horrors, if any, did the father experience in his childhood?


How could this happen & the mother not know? Or did she? Who was in charge of Mental Health in this family?


The mother eventually left. But why did she stay so long?


What kind of lives will these five daughters have? What will they pass on in their genetic codes? How is their mental health today?


How do you tell a child that their #father is also their grandfather?


Will this family ever heal? (The odds are stacked against them)


The bottom line is the father, for whatever reason, thought that he had the right to #sexually abuse his five daughters. Somewhere along the way society turned a blind eye and accepted this behavior. #Sexual Exploitation is Never Okay!


“The way we feel about our parents is a window into ourselves and to unconscious themes.” Wolynn. If the parents' Mental Health is poor, the family is likely to be dysfunctional.




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Cases like this are why I am passionate about shining the light on sexual exploitation. Will you join me in my fight?













 
 
 

1 Comment


carrascoteaka
Jul 17, 2023

Powerful message Margaret! I love that you tackle these hard to talk about topics to bring awareness to an ever growing issue - generational curses. My husband and I talk about this at length because while my childhood was what I'd consider "normal" in comparison to what I have seen/heard from my friends, other family members, and even my husband, there are things that both of us consistently need to work on so we're not passing this onto our children.


It is hard to face some realities, and I don't think any person/couple should try to handle it alone. Currently, my husband sees a therapist as do I, and we both have sought the help before of couples therapy. In…


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Margaret Whichard

I have a lifetime of volunteer experience with various non-profits nationwide. In 2016, I returned to college to study Mental Health and became a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor.

As a counselor / coach, I actively listen to my clients, hold a safe place for them to process their feelings, offer guidance and encourage them to stop unhealthy patterns and break generational curses.

Your tax-deductible donation makes this vital ministry a success. Donations are used for operating costs, continued education / training, and client related session fees.

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